Signs of Sexual Assault

We’re going to get serious here at A Kiss At Midnight Reviews and talk about some possible signs of Sexual Assault.

They always say write what you know. Luckily, I don’t know about sexual assault but I DO know people who have had to go through it. They don’t want to talk about it, so I’m doing it for them. In my book, First Semester, there are some amazing guys and there are some dangerous guys. Unfortunately, that’s life. But like in life, guys leave clues. Well, some of them leave clues. Acquaintance rape has become too prevalent at college campuses. It might be a new guy you’re starting to date, it might be the jealous guy in your math class, or it could be the guy you’ve been with for a while.

What are some signs that a guy might be a predator?

  1. He’s aggressive. This aggression can manifest itself in different ways, but at first, it probably won’t be against you. He’s still trying to win you over. So what to watch out for? Does he yell at the waitress if their food order is wrong? Does he get crazy road rage? Unfortunately, that aggression may turn on you one day.
  2. He gets jealous fast. One of the ways a predator may deal with jealously is through assault. Why? Control. He wants to control you. If he get’s overly jealous over little things, it might be a warning sign. Sometimes, we think a man being jealous shows that he cares. A secure man doesn’t need to get jealous because he should trust you, but that’s a whole other post.
  3. Does he isolate you? Does he refuse to hang out with your friends? Does he insist on spending time with you alone? The reason for that isn’t because he wants to get to know you or he wants it to be more intimate. It’s because your friends will probably call him on his crap. They’re going to look out for you and try to make sure the guy you’re with is good for you. That’s what friends do. But if you aren’t around them as much, then they aren’t there to see what you’re too in love to notice. I’m not saying he needs to be best friends with your friends, but he shouldn’t balk at the idea of spending time with them.
  4. Ignoring your wishes is another big no no. If he is continually shutting down what you want to do, shutting down your ideas, or shutting down your beliefs, then there is an issue. By shutting down I mean ignoring, rejecting, or belittling these things. If he isn’t listening about something small, it is a possible predictor he won’t listen when things get serious. You need to pay attention to when he ignores you when you say “no” to little things. It could mean he ignores that all important “no’s” in the future.
  5. Encourages or insists you drink or use drugs. This can also fall with ignoring your wishes. If you don’t want to drink or you don’t support drug use, then don’t do it. A predator is going to suggest, usually nicely at first, you indulge because it will lower your inhibitions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling anymore to stay completely sober. That is your choice. However, you need to make sure it is your choice and you have a plan set up. Be smart about it.

These are just some things you need to watch out for. Some of them may seem obvious but they keep happening and they are continually being missed. Why? There are a lot of reasons. You are excited to be getting attention, you want to believe the best of people, you think he’s you’re only chance. Whatever the reason, if you don’t notice these signs in your own guy, just watch out for a friend. But what about if something has already happened and you suspect something could be wrong? How do you know? Change in their behavior. What do I mean by this? This could be a lot of things so we’ll start with their eating habits.

  1. Many victims are fighting for control since they couldn’t control what happened to them. One of the more common ways to get control back is to focus on what you eat. This may be eating a lot more or eating a lot less. Pay attention if you notice something drastically change. Obviously, sexual assault isn’t the only reason for a change like this but it’s just something to keep in mind.
  2. You also want to be aware of their social habits. Did they stop going out? Do they go out more often than before? When they’re out, are they reckless? These could all be signs that someone is trying to push something aside, or ignore the pain they are dealing with.
  3. For social habits, pay attention to their drinking and drug use. If it is significantly heavier than before, they may be trying to self medicate.
  4. Now what happens when someone touches them? Do they jerk away? Do they tense up? It could be a stranger causing these reactions but what’s more concerning is when it’s someone they trust or trusted.

I wouldn’t go right in and ask someone if they had been raped or sexually assaulted. I would ease them into it by giving them back some kind of control. Spend the ay with them and have them make all the decisions. They pick where you eat, they pick what movie you see, they pick whatever it is. They may hate it at first but it’s important you remind them that they’re decisions and their words matter.

If all else fails, encourage your friend to get help for whatever is bothering them. It may not be a sexual assault issue, but if they are exhibiting symptoms like this, then something is definitely wrong.

These signs are subjective. There may be other signs and these may not be relevant to the man you’re with. Look at these suggestions as a starting point.

About Sarah- Sarah received her degree in criminal justice with a concentration in forensic psychology. After that, she began her career in investigations, which she is still actively doing now. In addition to that, she also write romance novels. Her first book is First Semester and it follows a girl in college trying to navigate the complicated world of friends, frat boys, boyfriends, forbidden lovers, and stalkers. Sarah recently went to Richard Stockton University to talk to college women about signs of sexual assault.

First Semester is available on Amazon through paperback and ebook- CLICK HERE

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2 thoughts on “Signs of Sexual Assault

  1. says:

    May I simply say what a comfort to discover someone that actually understands what they are talking about on the internet. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people must read this and understand this side of your story. It’s surprising you are not more popular because you certainly have the gift.

    Liked by 1 person

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